People never realize just how screwed up someone is until it’s too late. We stop begging and crying and screaming for someone to care. We just… Give up.
To be numb is better than to question and to ask “God” why? To wonder why you can’t be good enough or wonder why you couldn’t change enough. Being numb means you can let go of your hopes and dreams. You can be okay with nothing.
And when the numbness finally faded you find a better option..
Yes it may leave people behind hurt, but you see- when you’re so numb.. You forget about anyone but you…
And I have forgotten about everyone. I have given my hopes, my dreams, and my love away for the dark comfort of being numb.. And maybe, just maybe- I can find a more permanent comfort. I can find a way to give up the last bit of ache that comes when I sleep, how much I hate to feel the longing in my dreams.
It will never be what I wanted. My dreams are only the foolish ones of a little girl, who was clinging to hope.
I know no one follows this.. But it’s nice to think that my voice may echo out somewhere deep.. And that maybe- someone’s heart will break with me.. Some girl who knows the pain, and maybe, then I won’t feel so much. That last bit can be given away..