I know that I am far from the first person to write something about this weekend’s Orlando shooting, but here I am. I’ve been sitting here taking a class that is based on “What does it mean to be human?” This past weekend really made me look at the class at a different way.. To see what has seemingly happened over and over and over again. When do we start to lose our humanity enough to walk into a club, an elementary school, a theater, and decide to hurt innocent people? Where did we go wrong as a community to not teach ourselves and our children to grow and to become healthy adults? When did we decide that it was okay to turn a blind eye to the people we see that obviously are struggling with finding who they are? Whether that is with mental illness, struggling to admit or accept who they are, or admitting that they have something severely wrong with them. Why do we allow these people to mix into and disappear into society, and more importantly- what drove them to such a horrible extreme?
I learned from an early age that one of the biggest experiences that humans endure is pain. And my heart breaks for the families and friends in Orlando. My heart breaks for the mothers and fathers, the sisters and brothers, the lovers, and the friends. And so many have the same questions: Why did this unspeakable act have to happen? Why us? Why here?
I can’t answer why.. Only the people who did so can.. And coming from Colorado- growing up in the shadows of Columbine and barely missing being a victim of the Theater shooting during the Batman premier- I feel the pain of the community. The fear, the frustration, and the unanswered questions.
When I see a horror like this on the news I always wonder why.. What compelled the person to think that was okay? Why did they think that was the only way to disapprove of something or be upset about something? Or just think that it was a “good idea”. It’s overwhelming to think that this person decided either knowingly or subconsciously to let go of that human part of them.. To decide that they no longer put themselves in the same category as their victims. It’s a debate that I truly wish I could sit down with a panel of psychologists and doctors and just ask- WHY.
But in the end, even unanswered, there are the people left behind from the disease of violence.. There are the so many to the already numerous victims from this weekend… So many broken hearts. So many families that will never be whole again…